New Rochelle 2042

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New Rochelle 2042

March 21, 2012 - 20:34

New Rochelle 2042
It is with a heavy heart that Noam Bramson has made an announcement that he will not seek re-election. Instead he will become the new head of ICLEI and Agenda 21. Immediately after that announcement the Democratic party nominated his granddaughter as their candidate for Mayor.
Ms. Bramson kicked off her campaign with a party at a local country club and it followed a theme entitled “perception”. All political photos will be taken in front of Beechmont Lake. Ms. Bramson thought the color green would be appropriate since her grandfather adopted GreeNR.
-The North Ave bridge is finally completed.
-Chickens have become the new designer pets and the north end is calling for a chicken park. They have promised to pay for a statue of Barry Fertel to be at the entrance of this new park.
-Shari Rackman’ s granddaughter who is a lawyer will invest in 1228 North Ave. and will turn it into a cabaret. She has promised that is will be the new Limelight of Westchester County.
-Jared Rice is now a part of the Independent party and will start a trade school for unemployed youth.
-Ivar Hayden still has not found an answer to why people are not shopping in downtown New Rochelle.
-Talners has been sold to the latest church to open on Main St.
-The Republican Party under new leadership has nominated Lou Trangucci’s granddaughter for mayor of New Rochelle. Following in her grandfather’s footsteps, Ms. Trangucci will stress financial responsibility in New Rochelle.
-North of Quaker Ridge Road is now part of Scarsdale. That end of town will now be known as South Scarsdale. Immediately following that announcement, Scarsdale plans to have their affordable housing and new city yard in South Scarsdale.
-Forest City would like a MOU for the Beechwood Ave. city yard. In an announcement from their new location at the county jail, Bruce Ratner stated that this would be the perfect location for luxury condos. It goes without stating that the city must clean up the yard and relocate. A presentation is expected in the near future and the homeowners’ associations can purchase a copy of the presentation at the Dept. of Correction’s commissary.
-Due to a decrease in sales, Pepe Luxury Cars will now be selling electric go carts at their present location on Main Street.
-The library has been emptied of all its books and they still do not have a place for the restored items that were part of the armory.
-The main doors at City Hall have finally opened and people realized there was nothing more than hot air at that location.
-Mr. Kame has finally moved to France.
-Mitch is searching for more radio shows to call into from an assisting living location.
-Warren Gross is still trying to keep his post to Talk of the Sound under 10,000 words.
-WVOX now Plato’s Retreat will be replaced by the new home of Curry Motors. If you get my drift.
-DPW workers have been replaced by robots. Lou Felicione is very happy and it is saving the city money and the robots do not use showers.
-The original location of the city yard at 224 Main Street has now become a destination called Shantytown Heritage Park. It will house 1000 archives in a vast collection from small day-to-day household items to large garbage trucks . You can take an old time photo with a retired DPW worker, a self-guided tour of various buildings, grab a pail and shovel and clean up a portion of the yard, and enjoy a short mud walk by the waters’ edge. The city’s philosophy is to conserve this property for future generations to enjoy.
-The Dept of Development has been removed from city hall. We have no more property to develop.
-The Building Dept. is now using the honor system in hopes that people will pay permits and fees.
-The Commissioner of Public Works still cannot make up his mind. He will continue to host tours and has purchased a double-decker bus and will pick up at various locations throughout the city.
-The Municipal Arts Commission is looking for a new chairperson. All local graffiti artists should apply.
-City Hall has announced in order to save money, the position of city historian has been eliminated. It seems we have no history left in the city.
-The League of Women Voters has announced a series of debates. Before attending a 52 page booklet will be given out explaining the rules and only Democrats will be able to attend.
-The Armory will be in ruins. A child asked his parents what is an Armory and why remembering and honoring veterans is so important.
-Upon cleaning out Chuck Strome’s office, unused sheetrock was found. This will now be used to install 10 new restrooms at the train station. We are now proud to say the station has a total of 20 restrooms. They are still looking for the keys in order to open them to the public.
-It is rumored that Peggy Godfrey and Bob McCaffrey will be first to speak at the next Citizens to be Heard. They will have a generous one minute to speak and the rules clearly state no past, present or future concerns can be presented.
-Real estate agents are now telling future homeowners, New Rochelle is the first to eliminate all taxes. You will now be charged a fee for any and all services.

To the future citizens of New Rochelle,
I am hoping this is not what New Rochelle will become in the future. We are trying to work together and are having little success. It takes courage to stand up and fight, but we are willing to do so. I hope your city is a better place and do not take it for granted.
One Citizen in the year 2012.

There are 10 Comments

Nice job Knitter!

Hope they take out a building permit before they put up the statue of Barry Fertel.

You gave me both an impossible task and a good laugh. Nice work

Task is keeping anything under 10,000 words. But, being dead, there is an outside chance.

Nice job.

Good job Kitter,

The good news is that in 2042 we will all still be around. I am joined by my daughter at CTBH by that time. She became a lawyer so that we can keep fighting to get the new garbage tax repealed. It is much easier on me now that I can just stand there at CTBH and say nothing. I was heard just saying Ditto up until 2016. I see that Forest City never built and the City Yard is still the same as it was in 2012. Those old trucks must be worth a fortune by now. Check the tanks for gas. The North Avenue construction is now completed. Business is improving in New Rochelle. The Sandwich Board guy in front of the jewelry store at 345 North Ave got new signs and started a franchise at several locations along North Avenue and Main Street.

I do believe that the lights are starting to go on in some people these days. There is some good dialogue at times. People need to keep it civil and to the point to be taken seriously. We can’t become what we are fighting against. We must avoid becoming Self-involved, self-centered and selfish. We can affect change one voice at a time. We are trying to work together and are having some success. Change takes time. It takes courage to stand up and fight, but fight we will. Hopefully common sense will sink in and we will all win.

“Common Sense for the Common Good”.

Having been convicted on Rico Charges the former Mayor of New Rochelle leaves Federal Prison in Joliet Illinois after serving 28 years.
So much promise so much future did not come to fruition.
" I have seved my time and paid my debt to society.
I believe in some ways I did a lot economically for our Queen City on the Sound. Dollar Stores are now 10 Dollar Stores. Thats prospertity from my hard work. I have taught an entire generation how to walk the line of Ceremonial Mayor vs Iron Fist control like a Boss Tweed.
Today our waterfront has been opened up and the revenue in sales Tax from the sale of Hazmat Suits is way up. New Roc Citys tax abatements are set to expire soon and having shared a Cell with our favorite Valhalla developer I have learned so much.
I look forward to seeing you all in New Rochelle remember I still get health insurance and a pension for all I have done for the fair city. Thank you all."

Arson investigators arrested the last of the IDA members as they lit fire to a David Lacher effigy and wound up burning every record the IDA had on file. Strangely enough, the only document to survive was their final ruling which granted Avalons 1& 2 a permanent continuation of all tax abatement and PILOT programs. Realizing the investment opportunity, organized gangs from Brooklyn and Ohio (who have never set foot in the city so far) performed a hostile takeover of the two buildings in an effort to "bring more people with disposable income" to the downtown. They pulled out a crumbled copy of the last cabaret license issued by the police commissioner and immediately opened up a cabaret. This reportedly brought in millions of dollars but it couldn't be confirmed since the buildings are privately owned and no one can look at the books. Spokesman for the new owners tells one reporter " We've been in business here with phony section 8 housing, high stakes gambling, prostitution, drugs and college beer parties since 2008. It feels good to finally be a legitimate part of the community."

Fantasy or reality? Every bit of this future world is possible! Okay, maybe not the part about Warren's 10,000 words but by then, most won't be able to read. :-)

Yeah, Knitter is right for the most part. I can only console myself with the fact that I generally know as a rule what I am talking about. I am always going to look for a way out. But, I love the trip to the future stuff and actually it helps me to focus on what has to be done.

As usual you reflect one of the dominant issues of our day and I am going to try my best to steer a different course.

The City has given up on exerting influence at least over these high rises. They are now an embarassment to the original business plan, the current owners, and among so many things, points out the lack of meaningful intervention on the part of BID. BID has gotten pretty much of a free pass, but this should not be the case. The IDA process, subsequent oversubscription on abatements may be correctible, but the statue of limitations has run its course on Avalon, Trump, others. They have management issues that are immense and as you say, no one in the City will own up to the effects and consequences of using these as "dormatories."

This happens because of the lack of skill in City Hall as well as the presence of powerful "Enablers." The foremost is probably Marc Jerome who also gets a free pass from posters and citizens in general.

I will say more about him this week when I open up my series on Enablers.

I am not going to indite, only going to raise considerations that the Council must, repeat must, consider as well as the citizens at large who must insist that the Council play out it role per the City Charter/Code.

This subject is neglected by all but me I think but it shouldn't be. It speaks volumes of how power works, how a party or individual steps in and fills a vacuum.

TOTS -- you need to work your tails off to stop new residential growth, insist on downtown renewal, quash Echo Bay and Albanese, insist that either the City manages in accordance to the City Charter or initiaties a referendum to justify how it is run presently.

I need back-up; am I correct Brian Sussman on the Charter, Stephen Mayo, are you not uncomfortable with how the City is managed viz the language of the current Charter/Code. And, Stephen would you agree to identify and properly codified the seemingly endless number of different programs and committees devoted to Planning. Bob Mcafferty, can you talk to neighborhood associations and tell them to focus for change, not simply critique. And, John, can you continue talking to Ron Tocci to come up with a workable arrangement with the City on the Armory. You cannot get custody and control; Tocci knows how to do this.

And for the rest of the readership, work to change the Council to understand that they are the real organizational arrangement holding the trump cards even though they underpaid part-timers. Our mayor is a ceremonial, "weak mayor."

Knitter, this is the sort of stuff dreams and 10,000 plus words are made of. Join me and bring the highly intelligent other half into the fray.

Love this City... now is the time to identify the real power bases and work toward change.

Actually the new Council has promise, it really does. Work with them.

You forgot to mention that Bob Cox is just finishing his second term as the President of the United States and James O'Toole is our vice President.

you forgot to mention that in the year 2042, downtown New Rochelle, the pig sty and white elephant of Westchester for the last 70+ years, has STILL not been restored, thanks to the greed of Idoni and his clones.

You also forgot to mention that Ms. Bramson married the grandson of her grandfather's mentor, without whom he could not have become mayor, namely Tim 'I Didn't Get Where I Am By Keeping My Promises To New Rochelle' Idoni.

knitter, can you get this printed in the local newspaper, or does Idoni, um, Bramson control that too?

WVOX will be the new location for HOPE Community, it's pretty much a haven now for O'shaughnessy and his son, who happen to be homeless because they both live at the station with their hookers.