Parental Alienation - Children Turned Against Themselves - For Many Unhappy Fathers Day

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Readers because today is Fathers Day and this article is sad, true and relevant -you may want to read it tomorrow or sometime soon. I and other advocates and countless other parents and grandparents for Parental Alienation Awareness (referred to hereafter as PA) know the devastating results PA has on children and families. We are compelled and dedicated to this cause and want the public to become informed and have PA awareness.

Our hope is that our local and greater communities,( you ) will recognize PA as a social problem that hurts children, families and society. Public awareness is paramount as well as necessary changes in the politically system including - the current family and department of social services law - domestic relations law - the family courts and the judges role, child unprotective services and the further inequitable roles of the bureaucracy.

The current system facilitates PA and is structured to be detrimental to family dynamics, problems and conflicts. The best interest of the child is absent. Our family courts have failed us and continue to do so.

Through education and relevant information that results in heightened awareness and participation in its prevention PA will be largly curtailed. We must be prepared to help our children and those who become prey to this tragedy. We must do our best to prevent PA.

Today throughout cities and towns in Westchester County, New York State and elsewhere parents are manipulating their children to turn against the other parent. The beginning of this bullying of the child is during separation and divorce. Many times the alienating parent has the underpinning and instigation of a boy or girl friend as in my case. The child victim is venerable and has not yet developed critical thinking cognitive skills and falls prey to the alienators trap.

At it's inception the child begins to loose his or her childhood and all the good memories with the parent they are being conditioned to hate. Stages of childhood development are skipped over or lost and this is dangerous for any child.

No matter what kind of relationship the other parent may have had with their child, a vindictive, revengeful, hateful, narcissistic parent (and family members) can and have brainwashed their child to reject their once loved parent.

There are specific symptoms and potential problematic personality characteristics and disorders an alienated child can develop and must live with. They bury a deep seated guilt , hurt, confusion and anger which they cannot articulate. Being so young they are not equipped to deal with what they feel.

Sadly some adult alienated children have committed suicide. Most PA survivors have strong resentments toward the alienator parent and if and when they seek professional help PA's effects can never be fully undone.

Parental Alienation expert Dr. Amy Baker states in a TV News interview, " The bottom line is, to turn a child away from the other parent is to turn a child against himself."

Parental Alienation is child abuse.

Commenting on this Blog entry is closed.

robertgartner on Mon, 06/18/2012 - 16:17

It could be said I was a fool to have made the two that I have, both daughters. Yet I was raising successfully my oldest, 5 1/2 years, until her mother found Justice for Children(JFC) and accused me of being a predator. Then JFC gave her two Fulbright and Jaworski, LLp lawyers, being the largest law organization in America. we were lynched! Today my daughter is 25 years of age and still cannnot talk with me and I am denied my granddaughter. Incidentally her mother was out committing three felonies while she got their free 'help'. Severe level Alienator (PA). JFC rejects the credibility of PA and states it is a ruse used by predator fathers tgt the kids!

And suicide: Well the other daughter, now 16, tried this on Valentines Day. We had only just begun to talk at Christmas for the first time. The state attorney general helped see to it that she had no relationship with me- something states attoreny generals do, and then say they have no legal obligations to assure access to each and both parents for the subject child. I knew her mother was unfit but nobody cared.

We do such a great job of loving our children. And we dont give enough deference to loving each other as this dysfunction gets poliferated again and again but now with the help of 501 c 3 organizations like JFC and the State!

Welcome to the universe of systematized and indoctrinating Parental Alienation!

Zorro on Mon, 06/18/2012 - 18:00

Mr. Gartner,

Your story enrages and deeply saddens me. Whether you liked him or not - Comedian Richard Pryor said it the best- The devil's a mother f***er.

We must join PA action groups and participate in signing petitions, protests, demonstrations, emails, calls to local and state politicians. Our goals are to change and renovate this harmful self serving system.

I'll speak plainly- Our punk lawmakers who mostly are self serving bureaucrats - who when contacted -if you hear back from them , it's 6 months later and they don't have time, nor are interested for our concerns and could care less about our families. Most =meaning 99% of our politicians ignore our plea for help because they are part of the system, including the ones you named and our taxes fund. Our lawmakers have created a Police State. This must be reversed.

Thanks,

Stephen Sacco
Author of this Article

robertgartner on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 06:43

Thank you Stephen,
and thank you for this quote from Dr. Baker. Its a frightening quote isnt it? what do these authorities think? Havent they learned anything form those incarcerated, pregnant, or dead form suicide? PA' credibility should not be that difficult to understand by these so calle dprofessionals.

The timing of your article for me and this precious quote, for me, was most appropriate, since I just finished protesting Justice for Children's Annual Gala Fundraiser just a month ago for the 25 th year, and how now I am in the process of intervention for my youngest daughter doing what I can to help her, now that I only made contact with her 6 months ago. Odd that really how the system could care less if these children have access to each and both parents. And tonight I learned form my daughter that she has had suicide ideation since she was only eight years of age! But of course the State would not consider they were giving my daughtter to a woman who was basically unfit to parent. Someone should sue based in State intrusion in support of an unfit parent. One day there will be a child death, and then it will occur to someone the culpability of the manner of State intrusion.

These systems and the participants function like an addict with progressed addiction. Anne Wilson Schaef taught me much with her "When Society Becomes An Addict". Too bad the operators of Justice for Children havent read it nor have those who render up the child for a dollar.

Zorro on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 15:09

Dear Robert,

Thanks for your comment. I'll look into getting involved with Justice for Children. The Family Court, It's judges, cps, county attorneys office, assigned attorneys, law guardians and the fraudulent county appointed, county employed testers all work together in unison.

They perpetuate their sorry existence by their incompetence, dishonesty and underhandedness. They think they are cute. Worst is that they are given immunity from lawsuits and they take full advantage of it. 99% of these incompetent family court judges are plucked out of the county attorneys office. They are criminals!!!

However you can sue a state and local official, such as a cps worker, county forensic tester, law guardian, county attorney, etc who violates your constitutional rights such as in my and many cases under - Section 1983 Constitutional Law for the deprivation of Constitutional rights guarenteed
under The US Constitution. See case law on this and the book " Section 1983 Litigation" by Michael Collins published by Thompson West.

The overstaffing in general in these antiquated agencies is unbelievable. Their existence is tax payer extortion. It will take time but the system will be changed and slimmed down.

Please keep in touch with me. Anyone else interested or working for PA advocacy contact me via email. sssteve318@gmail.com

davd32165 on Mon, 06/18/2012 - 02:56
Title: PA

Parental Alienation is real, and we must raise awareness. Anyone married to a high-conflict spouse should do everything they can to protect themselves and their kids prior to divorce/separation. Here is a video I put together to help others in similar situations:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRPPlAq-kF8

nrolevol2 on Sun, 06/17/2012 - 20:47

My husband is physically disabled and can't work. But this didn't stop his ex from winning sole custody in court where he has to pay child support and only get 1 hour visits a week. She claimed she left him and the child alone to the police and he beat the child. Without money, we couldn't afford a defense. He pled nolo to a child abuse crime he didn't commit. Now we can't see the kids at all. It's 3 years later and the ex lives in another state and she keeps filing restraining orders on him, claiming violence. She keeps creating false emails to harass him. She recently posted a video on YouTube showing him playing with his daughter and then posting (impersonating her own child) that her daddy beat her and a full description of horrific violence. Violence that did not occur, not even according to the court record. I wrote her a letter to take down the video and she wrote me claiming she watched him beat their daughter with a belt for an entire hour. Her story contradicts itself. Today, she sent him another email from a fake email to wish him a happy father's day and to say what a wonderful dedicated father he is...even though we've been alienated from the kids for 3 years. I finally reported her to the child protection agency. What kind of mother displays her 6 year old daughters information online? (the daughters name was posted, along with my husbands name, and our location, and business name). I reported her for the video, for emotionally abusing the child by telling her child that her father doesn't love her, and for being an accessory to a crime (she said she was watching him beat his daughter). So, that should make her an accessory right? Anyway, I hope they figure her out and place the children with us. This whole situation is unfair. We have no idea if the kids even know we exist.

Zorro on Mon, 06/18/2012 - 01:36

Thanks for your telling part of your husbands story.My heart goes out to you. The harsh reality is the child protective services will probably do little if anything to help your husbands child. I hope they do, although they are pretty much a worthless agency. This is what my advocacy is about. They don't care and are to much of a buracracy and political to be just, fair and competent.

It is obvious the mother needs help and healing. I don't know where your located but get involved with a Parental Alienation Action group near you. If your in NYC area email me and get involved with mine.

my email is sssteve318@yahoo.com

Tom Jeferstahl on Sun, 06/17/2012 - 15:42

I had a very good friend go through this system. He was the good parent, loving, caring, nurturing. Unfortunately he was the father. The mother was a crackhead, constantly arrested for misdemeanors and would disappear for days at a time. Never married. But she fought for full custody. After she received FREE legal from the city or whomever provides it, they told her how to dress for court, what to say and what to claim. HE had to spend $30,000.00 on lawyers. After her own family came to HIS defense and her friends said the child should go with the father, after almost a year on nonsense, the judge reluctantly placed the child with the father.... Thank GOD!

Zorro on Sun, 06/17/2012 - 16:26
Title: An Epidemic

Thanks for the comment.

Please read my article on Family Court Corruption on Talk of the Sound.
This wasteful self serving unjust system needs a complete overhaul. We are working of it. The local- current systems players are beginning to kick and scream and don't want anyone to expose their corruption. They attempt to discredit anyone who brings their deeds to light.

I spent a lot more than 30,000. The harder I fought the more the dirty tricks were. Katie Davidson a New Rochelle resident- the judge in my case- would walk in the courtroom and make statements in an indirect way that I had no chance of winning my case. She and my opponents though by denying me due process and visits of my kid that I would cave in to their unjust desires,

There is no such thing as innocent until proven guilty in the FC. Further there was not one bit of evidence or proof presented.The standard for witness cooperation is excluded from family court proceedings which are due process right violations.Thats a story for another article.

Best,

Zorro

Tom Jeferstahl on Sun, 06/17/2012 - 17:02

Actually, the mother was granted full custody and the father ordered to pay child support (which he did). He continued to fight for custody. It wasn't until about 6 months into the fight that she was arrested for a string of serious crimes that he finally won custody. When he had to pay child support he was threatend with jail if he did not pay. The mother has not paid a nickle in over 9 years, without any repercussions.

PhilUK on Sun, 06/17/2012 - 10:55

A brilliantly written article that would mirror my experiences, understandings and feelings.. This is a worldwide problem and certainly over here in the UK I believe it is fuelled by the legal system and the solicitors who know how to play the system. I have four children from my marriage - two are alienated daughters (15/17) and due to the age of the younger two, they were within the court's juristriction and I had a "right" to see them. On this Father's Day just like on my Birthdays for the past three/four years, I will not receive any communication from any of them, including the younger two where I have the standard post divorce access of alternate weekends and a three hour slot during the week.. There's not much to be done about it. The more you try, the more distance is put between you and the kids... And as your article implied, the new step-Daddy ensures that they do not miss out on their fatherly love or support that the alienating parent encourages.. Such is PA! Happy Father's Day

Zorro on Sun, 06/17/2012 - 15:07

Hi Phil UK,

Thanks for your vote of confidence. PA is all over the world, yes. My heart hurts for you and your kids. We need to become committed and active in PA groups ( Start one if there aren't any) in PA awareness groups who's goal is to educate and bring effective change in the mafia family court system.

The longer we remain silent the longer this abuse will be perpetrated by the unfamily courts and villainous system. Tell everyone you meet how PA is child abuse and the courts extremely corrupt!!!

My ex wifes boyfriend and employer was the foundation and instigator behind her PA of my son. Who could be so misguided and evil as to to this to your own child - our children. But than again narcissism is an extreme form of pride and self centeredness. This character quality is usually found in the alienator as well as the judges whom rule the unfamily courts.

Please read my post on: Family Court Corruption in Talk of the sound. In the comments section to that article - their is an entity who doesn't
want to see the corruption of our failed system exposed. This is our government and there needs to be changes that help the family not hurt the family like the courts do now.

If you want to contact me my email is sssteve318@gmail.com feel free. Best to you.

Happy Fathers Day To You,

Zorro

newmetro1 on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 13:04

The is issue does not discriminate as far as ethnicity yet economically because it is all about money. While I could go on about my individual case it is the same in many ways as all other cases involving the courts. Please show support in affecting change in the system by joining and possibly helping out to increase the participation and public awareness as there are many movements today that gain the support of large numbers of people but barely even touch the importance or the frustration it's victims experience.

This past Friday I participated in the protest with the Fathers for Justice Group at the United States Federal Appeals Court in Foley Square NYC the turnout by the few dedicated Fathers and Mothers on this Holiday weekend was to also show support or the introduction of The case, John Parent v State of New York he rally was in support of equal rights for fathers in a case being heard on June 15, 2012. The case, John Parent v State of New York, asks a federal appeals court to place limits upon support and custody abuses in our nation’s domestic relations courts.

“John Parent” is a fictitious name allowed by court order to represent abused parents in this precedent seeking case. Please visit Leon Koziol.com http://www.scribd.com/doc/65941522/Federal-Appeals-Court-Brief
The staff at Leon Koziol.Com is asking all of our friends and supporters to share this story with the news media in hopes that they will prepare a timely piece for Fathers’ Day. We encourage you to contact the major print newspapers by way of telephone for the purpose of reaching a reporter. Any media inquires should be directed to Dr. Leon Koziol at (315) 796-4000.

Additional coverage of the event can be found on FaceBook at: New York Families for Kids

Zorro on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 14:35

Dear NewMetro1,

I wish I had known I would have been at that demonstration. I love making new friends and contacts furthering this great cause, thanks for this info.

There are more groups of advocates for PAA also on Facebook. The Pennsylvania Chapter, Parental Alienation Awareness Organization is another voice thats evolving to be effective for PA. It's also a forum to vent as the injustices of "the system" are so evil, unjust and purposely hurtful that we
need at times to vocalize how we feel.

As you indicated and most importantly - those who are on the front lines of PA advocacy are banning and organizing groups all over the United States to make changes in our current self serving, antiquated, vicious systems methods and unjust laws.

Your comments are extremely valuable and I will pass this on to the other groups I'm involved with.

Sincerely,

Stephen Sacco
New Rochelle, NY

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